Oct 23, 2009

Tuggin the heart strings.

EJ has developed seperation anxiety. He cries and hangs onto me for dear life whenever I am about to leave him. No matter who with. Even my Mum, whom he adores!! Yesterday when I was leaving him at kindy, he clung to me, "Don't leave me! Don't leave me Mummy!" I hugged him, cuddled him, reassured him that I was coming back, showed him on the clock when that was going to happen, kissed him - and then allowed the teacher to peel him off me while I left.
"MUMMY! MUUUUUUUMMMMY" he screamed after me and tears formed in my eyes as I walked away from him and out of the door. I tried my best to hide how upset I was from the teacher and receptionist and swallowed that huge lump and blinked back my tears. I let them fall when I left the building!! Then I had to suck it up because I didn't want Milly to see me crying!

20 minutes later, Mum and I were ordering a coffee from a cafe and my phone rang - it was the receptionist at the kindy - my heart started pounding - oh no! He didn't settle down, he's having a meltdown! He's crying and can't be consoled! And me, his evil mother walked away from him when he wanted me to stay with him. I ignored his pleas of "Don't leave me!" and walked on out the door.
"Mrs Skipper, we just wanted to let you know that EJ has settled down and he's really happy playing now."

You know that feeling of when you have been holding your breath under water for ages, and you come up for air? That's how I felt!

This morning, a repeat performance happened. He cried, he wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed his cheek against mine, "DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" I peeled his arms off him, told him I loved him, and that I WILL come back... then walked towards the door. I turned back... and saw his lovely teacher scoop him up into a cuddle and distracting him - his tears were slowing down. He was going to be just fine. THEN I waltzed out of the door.

What is it about these kids that makes it so hard for me to leave them?


Anonymous said...

Oh you poor Mama. It's heartbreaking isn't it? And with these special little souls it's even harder.

You handled it SO well. I'm proud of you.

E will be fine. How can he not be when he has you for his Mama?


Paulette said...

Oh I have tears :(

That's such a wonderful story. What a huge step for you both!!

Now I have a huge smile! Like D said, you did a great job!!