One sure fire way to look like an idiot.

Step 1: Notice that your son has been complaining of stomach pain for 5 days. Listen to him. Believe him. Then because it's not constant, don't pay that much attention to it.

Step 2: When he comes to greet you from a shopping trip, whimpering about stomach pain, looking pasty, be prepared for the geyser of vomit that will proceed from his mouth and nose.

Step 3: Call Health Direct and talk to them about it - the lovely nurse on the end will direct you to emergency because the vomit from previous step is a lovely shade of yellow. She suspects a blockage or something like that and will tell you that surgery may be necessary. Better to be safe than sorry right?

Step 4: Go to Emergency at the hospital and place whimpering, whingy, writhing boy on a bed and wait, while watching him clutch his stomach.

Step 5: Wait for 3 hours.

Step 6: Notice that after 3 hours, your son isn't complaining about his stomach anymore, in fact notice that he looks incredibly bright.

Step 7: Try and refrain son from climbing and jumping all over hospital bed.

Step 8: Now is the time to get him examined by a doctor, who will hear son enthuse about Leggo and Buzz Lightyear.

Step 9: Get frustrated on the inside because you just wasted 3 perfectly good hours in the hospital because said Doctor will promptly send you home again because he seems fine.

Step 10: Soak all that idiotic feeling in because it will last a while.